winning self-esteem

How To Create Winning Self-Esteem And Unstoppable Confidence

Is low self-esteem holding you back in life?

In this post I’ll be talking about where low self-esteem comes from, how it’s likely controlling you and your results and how to improve it.

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As someone who has experienced divorcing parents as a teenager, serial exam failures, business failure, two lots of (what I now recognise as) post-natal depression and staggering amounts of debt, I (like you, probably) have experienced my fair share of low self-esteem over the years.

And having come out the other side with flying colours, it really pains me to see just how it paralyses friends, family, people who come to work with me and many of the men and women I meet in my Free 5 Day Science Of Success Challenges.

That’s probably because I know the huge transformation that happens when people get rid of that low self-esteem and replace it with total self-belief and the courage to face any problems that may arise.

When you have faith in your own abilities and are completely at ease with yourself and your behaviour, you absolutely can accomplish anything you put your mind to.

 

What Is Self-Esteem?

life-goals kitten

Self-esteem is how much you value yourself – your self-worth, if you will – and it is driven by your self-image.

Your self-image is the way you see yourself – the picture you have in your mind of how you look and how you behave, often compared to other people.

This image you hold in your mind of you makes you feel a certain way about yourself – and that feeling is what we refer to as self-esteem.

Those of you who’ve followed me (or my mentor, Bob Proctor) for any length of time will have seen us explaining The Stick Person (and if you haven’t, you really need to join my next 5 Day Science Of Success Quick Start Challenge!) and will know this:

Your thoughts create feelings, your feelings dictate the actions you take, and your actions create your results.

So the thoughts you hold in your mind about yourself and the feelings that this generates (your level of self-esteem) control the actions you take and, therefore the results you’re experiencing.

Low self-esteem prevents you doing the things you know you need to do to move forward in all areas of your life and can, therefore, negatively impact your health, relationships, income and general well-being.

If it’s your self-image that drives your self-esteem, it follows that in order to improve your self-esteem (and subsequently the results in all areas of your life) you must first improve your self-image.

However, in his book, Psycho-Cybernetics (one of my go-to books!), Maxwell Maltz says:

“The unhappy failure-type personality cannot develop a new self-image through pure will-power, or by arbitrarily deciding that you’re ‘going to change it’. There has to be some grounds or justification – some reason for deciding that the old picture of yourself is in err and that a new picture is appropriate.

You cannot merely imagine a new self-image unless you feel that it is based on truth. Experience has shown that when a person does change his self-image, he has the feeling that, for one reason or another, he sees or realises the truth about himself.”

So my aim with writing this article is to try to get you to realise the truth about yourself on the inside, because you have to get to grips with the truth about who you really are, what you’re really capable of and all the things you really want to do.

Resources:

Where Did My Low Self-Esteem Come From?

low self-esteem

Sometimes low self-esteem can be triggered by specific events but, as we’ve already established that underlying low self-esteem is driven by a negative self-image, let’s take a look at how a self-image is formed.

In his book ‘Outwitting The Devil’, Napoleon Hill talks about how we are all ‘imitations’.

As little babies, we’re brought into the world a perfect, neutral individual and we immediately begin to copy the adults around us.

We copy the way they speak, the way they make facial expressions, the way they walk – it’s how we learn the skills we need as we develop into young children.

We need to do that, there’s no other way to learn as a newborn.

As we get a little older, we start to imitate our friends, teachers, grandparents, just following along copying what the people around us are doing, how they’re behaving, how they’re talking, how they’re reacting…

We pay attention to the instructions they’re giving us, the things they believe, the things they like and dislike.

And thus we become ‘imitations’ of a mixture of the people around us.

There’s no wonder that as we grow into adults we start to struggle with how we feel about ourselves because we’re living with this ‘false self’ that was created by unconsciously copying other people.

We have never made a conscious decision about the person we want to be in life – we just, sort of, fell into it!

Judgement

Self-esteem | being told off

One of the biggest factors in creating a negative self-image (and, therefore, low self-esteem) is judgement. Judgement is everywhere, we were brought up to judge.

We watched our parents judge other people, talk about other people, criticise other people, criticise family members, talk behind people’s backs, talk about the neighbours…

They started judging us as they raised us and then we started judging ourselves.

And this judgement was usually not intended to cause harm – the people who brought us up were trying to teach us ‘right’ from ‘wrong’, ‘good’ from ‘bad’.

As a general rule, as parents, we want our children to grow up with the values we believe are the correct ones.

We don’t want them (or us) to be criticised by others so we condition them to behave a certain way.

If you were good (in your parents’ eyes) when you were young you were praised, if you were bad you were punished or criticised.

Judgement is a continual cycle when you’re young.

You didn’t want to be criticised and punished, you wanted to be praised and rewarded, so you learned to judge yourself and your behaviour and self-correct in order to get the results you wanted – to the point where that judgement became automatic and subconscious.

This whole process sets up a fear of criticism that you then take into adulthood unless you work to change it.

Of course, this process of judgement can also apply to relationships later in life too – we are continually building and refining that self-image and, if we let it, this kind of judgement and criticism can hold us back our whole life.

For some people it creates an inferiority complex – you just never feel good enough and you can begin to believe there’s something wrong with you.

Your Self-Esteem Is Faulty - There's Nothing Wrong With You

Have you ever asked yourself ‘What’s wrong with me?’

Do you ever wonder why you never get an answer?

That’s because THERE. IS. NOTHING. WRONG. WITH. YOU.

The only thing that’s wrong is the way you’re thinking and what you believe about yourself that isn’t true.

This self-image you hold of yourself (that’s been built by other people, remember) is almost like an overcoat that you’ve been given to wear.

At first it was tight and a bit scratchy, it didn’t feel very nice but you sort of just put it on because you’d been told to, and accepted that you had to wear it.

And you grin and bear it for a while and then you just kind of grow accustomed to it and you become locked into the belief that this is just the way your life was supposed to be.

It’s one of the reasons people find themselves feeling ‘just not quite happy’ or ‘just not quite fulfilled’ – or even really struggling with a really deep sense of disconnect, unhappiness, searching for joy, peace and freedom.

But the truth is this overcoat you’ve been given doesn’t belong to you.

You Are Perfect

Self-esteem | Born Perfect

If you look at children, they are born spiritually perfect. When we were little, we were very confident, we were strong-willed, we knew what we wanted and weren’t afraid to ask for it, we were imaginative, intuitive, loving and giving.

We would just confidently move through our little life doing whatever we wanted to do and, if we wanted something, we were very convincing when it came to trying to get it!

We didn’t need anyone’s approval and we weren’t scared of anything.

And what happened was, as we started to grow up and become consciously aware of what was going on around us – when we started trying to be right and not be wrong and trying to get praise and reward, and avoid criticism and punishment…

THEN we started worrying about what other people think.

And this fear started burying that perfection that we were born with.

We started to layer fear, doubt, worry, guilt, shame, embarrassment over the top of that perfection.

So you have to realise that, underneath it all, you are inherently perfect in every way – you may not do perfect things, and that’s because of the imperfect conditioning you’ve received.

But now is the time to take responsibility.

You can’t just continue doing imperfect things and making the mistakes you’re making, which is what a lot of people are doing – they’re just making the same mistakes over and over again trying to get it right.

And quite often I find it’s not until people are introduced, during coaching, to this notion of how our self-image (and self-esteem) controls us, that they discover what’s making them do the things they’re doing.

So you’ve got to make a decision. You have to either:

  • Have the courage to act like the person you want to become
  • Have the courage to be yourself

 

Only you can decide.

4 Key Steps To Move You Forward And Start To Improve Your Self-Esteem

1. Stop Looking Backwards

Self-Esteem | Stop Looking Backwards

One of the biggest things I’ve learned is to stop looking backwards.

In Psycho-Cybernetics, Maxwell Maltz says “If you’re spending any time thinking about the past, talking about the past, giving any kind of energy or attention to the past in any negative way, it’s going to keep you where you are.”

He explains that if you keep looking back on your past, because of all the things that happened to you, you stay as that person.

You stay stuck and you keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

Now we know we can’t change the past, but we have been conditioned to talk about it ALL THE TIME!

I’ve seen so many clients who’ve been seeing counsellors or therapists for years, they’ve been on anti-depressants and other medication and they come through the Thinking Into Results programme and they come right off their medication.

They stop seeing these other professionals because the techniques they were using were keeping them stuck (or making them worse).

They’ve never been shown how their mind works before and suddenly, they have a way of changing their thoughts, feelings and actions that they’ve never been shown before and the results are amazing.

You have to stop looking backwards.

You can literally stop yourself, the minute you start thinking about anything negative that happened in the past, and say “No. I’m not looking backwards, I’m only looking forwards.”

You need to be concentrating on where you’re going, not where you’ve been, because it’s gone.

2. Don't Make Stuff Up!

Self-Esteem | Don't Make Stuff Up

In his book “The Four Agreements”, Don Miguel Ruiz talks about how we live our lives according to ‘agreements’ we made with our parents, grandparents and other people as we were growing up.

His promise is that, by replacing those agreements with the four agreements in this book, you can literally be free.

In fact the subtitle of the book is the ‘Practical Guide To Personal Freedom’

The Third Agreement Ruiz gives us is ‘Don’t Make Assumptions’.

He says “Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as possible to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement you can completely transform your life.”

We make assumptions, we get into conflicts, we feel uncomfortable in relationships – maybe we’re fearful that something bad’s going to happen and we let our imagination take off on it’s own.

Pretty quickly your subconscious mind starts to believe this negative scenario you imagined is actually true and you start to act as though it is.

It generates real drama that can be truly damaging.

So you’ve heard the phrase ‘To assume makes an ‘ass’ of ‘me’ and ‘u’?

That’s an understatement.

Don’t make stuff up or assume stuff about yourself or other people.

Resources:

3. Love Yourself

Self-esteem | Love Yourself

You have to fall in love with who you are and what you are, and for many of us that’s an on-going work-in-progress.

See yourself as a child again. When you were a child you weren’t worried about how you looked  or sounded or what anyone else thought of you.

When you think of yourself, think of yourself as that child.

When you’re talking to yourself, talk as you would to that child – with love, understanding and encouragement.

You can’t judge yourself for things you’ve done and mistakes you’ve made in the past. They’re gone.

In fact, they’re only living on in your memory, so if you stop thinking about them, they really are dead and gone.

Remember, the truth is when you arrived here you arrived with this amazing creativity, imagination, a big heart, full of self-confidence.

Go back to the beginning and remind yourself who you truly are.

Writing out or saying affirmations outloud is a great way to develop this love and get rid of your self-critic.

I have a mini-course called ’30 Days To A Winning Self-Image And Unstoppable Self-Confidence’ that was created for just this purpose and you can register for that HERE

4. Follow Your Heart

Self-Esteem - Follow Your Heart

According to Hebrew and Greek cultures, the heart actually represents the location of our feelings, desires, and emotions – the subconscious mind.

Following your heart means getting in touch with your desires and following your intuition.

And when you follow you intuition, you are doing what you believe is right for you and for others.

This is an important factor in creating a positive self-image and raising your self-esteem.

Your intuition is one of your most powerful mental faculties, and we cover this in depth in Lesson 5 of Thinking Into Results.

When we’re little we use our intuition all the time. Children are really, really intuitive – they can pick up on things we don’t.

They can sense things: feelings, angels, spirit…

They’re very connected, in fact they rely on their intuition to some extent.

And for many of us that weakens as we get older because as adults we’re conditioned NOT to use it, not to rely on it.

But intuition is the human form of instinct that other creatures are born with and rely on to get through life. It’s that part of them that tells them what they should be doing, where they should be going to become what they’re supposed to be.

My mentor, Bob Proctor, always says your intuition is God (or your spirit or the Universe) talking to you.

So you must work on strengthening your intuition (and there are lots of ways to do that) so you can fight that negative paradigm and make confident decisions based on what you really want and what you believe is right.

Emma Hague And Bob Proctor
Proctor Gallagher Consultant logo

Emma Hague is a Certified Proctor Gallagher Consultant and Real Results Mentor based in the U. K.

A qualified accountant by profession, Emma now teaches self-employed women (and some very lucky men!) over 40 in the UK, USA & Canada how to achieve their life-goals – no matter where they might be right now.

As a business owner for over 14 years, Emma believes passionately that we need to take control of (and responsibility for) our own lives in order to create the freedom we all want.

Away from her business, Emma is an avid rugby league fan and loves to spend time with her family (she is mum to two young girls and two grown-up step-sons).

She also enjoys running, beach holidays and going on city breaks with her husband, Karl.

Emma’s own turning point came when, having hit rock bottom financially, she realised that after selling the family home to pay off debts and just try to ‘get in front’,  she would likely struggle to ever get a mortgage again.

Bringing their dream of a large, beautiful family home and worldwide travel crashing down around them.

Furious with herself, and the system, Emma committed to taking back control and creating the future she wants for her and her family by doing whatever it takes to create the life she really wants – and to help others do the same.

Emma understands the frustration, and time pressure felt by men and women who are entering the second half of their life and wondering how they’ll ever achieve the things the dream of before their time on this planet is over.

She is a coach and mentor grounded in the real-world and can help you create what’s next for you.

Stop Procrastinating

5-Steps To Stop Procrastinating And Just Do What You Need To Do

“How do I stop procrastinating and force myself to do what I know needs to be done?”

That’s probably the biggest and most frequently asked question I hear.

Procrastinating is the single biggest factor that keeps women in business stuck, and it will prevent you from ever achieving the things you really want in life, if you let it.

One of the things I’ve become known for being really good at is getting stuff done – and now helping others to do the same.

I’ve learned to take serious, effective action as soon as an idea comes into my head and now have the ability to use those most important higher mental faculties of imagination and will, to implement like a boss!

And not only to start the task – but to work on it until it’s complete. Something I struggled with previously for decades.

So how do I do it?

Well, for me it has been a journey of mental re-programming – and one that I now take my clients through – but I’ve condensed my findings (and the systems I use myself) down into the 5-Steps below.

The first thing to understand is that there is a ‘procrastinating psychology’.

I often hear people say “ I just need to get out of my own way”, or “I’m the only thing stopping me” – as if it’s some conscious decision that they’re making not to do stuff.

But that’s not the case.

The truth is it’s your subconscious mind that’s holding you back – not your conscious mind.

Let me explain…

Paradigms – what are they and why do you need to change yours?

procrastinating - mental program

Paradigms sit in the subconscious part of your mind and are mental programmes that have almost exclusive control over your habitual behaviour. They are the “operating system” on which all your mental processes run and they have been created as a result, primarily, of things that have happened in your past.

The way you walk, the way you talk, the way you greet people, the way you stand, the beliefs you hold, the way you react in certain situations, how quickly you make decisions, how often you change your mind…

they’re all controlled by this ‘operating system’.

Your paradigms create the prism through which you view and make sense of the world around you.

When information is presented to your mind, your mind runs through all of the things it already knows about that piece of information. It figures out where it fits in with the bigger picture, and decides if the information is good or bad, desirable or undesirable, possible or not.

Paradigms in and of themselves are neutral. If your particular paradigms are positive, you will have a happy, growth-oriented life, a healthy self-image, and the ability to adapt successfully to changes, upsets, and unforeseen events.

Conversely, negative paradigms can keep you stuck in old ways of thinking that can be very limiting.

They keep you as imprisoned as do a cell and a set of iron bars. Maybe even more so, since they imprison you in the place where all true freedom resides: the mind.

Your Paradigm Sets Your Auto-Pilot

procrastinating - compass

Paradigms act as a kind of auto-pilot. You see you’ve been set a certain course – and it’s your paradigm that has dialled in that heading.

Based on the things you were told as you were growing up, the things you heard said about you, things you heard said about other people, the beliefs your parents instilled in you, the  desires they instilled in you, the things you watched on TV…

All these things went to make up your paradigm – the thing that controls your beliefs and your habitual behaviour. Your habitual behaviour is driving your results. And guess what?

96-98% of your behaviour is habitual.

So what does that mean and how does it lead to you procrastinating?

It means that you actually only have conscious control over 2-4% of your behaviour. The rest is all dealt with subconsciously by your paradigm.

So whenever you consciously consider doing (or actually try doing) something new that is out of alignment with your current auto-pilot setting, your subconscious paradigm kicks in, takes remediating action and brings you ‘back on course’

Just as an aeroplane’s auto-pilot would.

Which usually means it either preventing you taking certain actions or making you change back to old habits when you’re trying to build new ones.

Procrastinating is the process of your paradigm actively trying to stop you making changes.

Unless you change your paradigm, any changes to your behaviour will be, at best, temporary and procrastinating will continue to prevent you moving forward.

So how do you change your paradigm?

Well, there are two ways:

1. >> A significant negative emotional impact – e.g. a bereavement, a major terrorist event, a divorce, a global pandemic…

Big emotional impacts have the ability to completely change your paradigm  forever – the things you believe, the way you see other people, the things you think are possible, the things you value…they can all be changed overnight in this way. (Think ‘9/11’ or ‘COVID-19’)

2. >> Constant, spaced repetition of ideas – obviously it is not ideal to try to use a huge negative emotional impact to help my clients change their paradigm, so we use the 2nd method which is continually and repeatedly exposing your paradigm (or subconscious mind) to the results you want to happen.

We use a number of different techniques to do this (usually over an extended period of time) and I have incorporated a few of these into the following 5 step process for you.

(And if you’d like more info about changing paradigms, you should join us for my next FREE 5-Day “Science Of Success” Quick-Start Challenge and let me help you in person! You can register now HERE.

Stop Procrastinating’ Step 1 - What do I really want and why?

procrastinating - what do you want

Take some time to write out what it is you’re trying to achieve in this particular instance, and why.

And when I say write it out, I mean write it out.

Don’t just think about what you’d write – take an actual pen and an old-fashioned piece of A4 and write it out.

Why?

In our training, writing plays a huge part in re-programming how your mind works.

Writing out your goal forces you to think – really think – about what you want.

Thinking creates a feeling or emotion, and it’s this emotion that determines the actions you’ll take.

If what you’re trying to achieve doesn’t make you feel really good when you think about having achieved it you’re unlikely to take the actions you need to take to achieve it.

And if that’s the case, why are you wasting your precious time on it?

Resources: 

https://www.emmahague.com/life-goal

 

Stop Procrastinating Step 2’ - What do I need to DO to achieve this?

procrastinating - mindmap

Make a committed decision about what you’re going to do to solve this problem or achieve the results you want.

Choose a definite plan of action and lay it out. Literally ask yourself “What is the first thing I need to do to resolve this?” and write it down.

“Then once I’ve done that, what’s the next thing I’ll need to do?” and write it down.

“Then once that’s done, what’s the next thing I’ll need to do?” and so on.

In this way, you will create your own step-by-step process for achieving your goal or target.

So many people worry about the ‘how’.

Procrastinating is a symptom of worrying they’ll make the wrong decision on how to move forward, so they don’t make any decision at all and stay stuck.

If there are a number of ways you could move forward on this – pick one. Now.

You won’t know if it’s the ‘right’ one until you make a start and you can’t make changes to your plan until you make a start.

Maxwell Maltz  said “A step in the wrong direction is better than staying on the spot all our life. Once you’re moving forward you can correct your course as you go. Your automatic guidance system cannot guide you when you’re standing still.”

Resource: Psycho-Cybernetics by Dr Maxwell Maltz

Stop Procrastinating’ Step 3 - How do I break it down into do-able chunks?

Procrastinating - To Do List

You have to start taking focused, effective action in order to achieve anything in life.

And that means doing certain things, in a certain way, every day.

Breaking down the steps you have identified in your success system into smaller tasks is essential. Even if you’re not really sure on how to do something.

A task could be to research something or choose someone to follow on a particular subject or look up how someone else did something.

You have to start moving – telling yourself you don’t know where to start leads to your subconscious mind ‘not knowing where to start’.

Just start writing and see what comes.

Once you start to get some ideas, get into the habit of writing out 6 Goal Achieving Activities every evening and number them from 1 to 6.

These are activities focused purely on achieving the goal you set in Step 1.

You will start work on these 6 Goal Achieving Activities the next morning and you will not move on to number 2 on your list until you’ve completed number 1.

You won’t move on to number 3 on your list until you’ve completed number 2.

Taking action is the antedote to procrastinating.

 
 

Give Yourself Permission To Make Your Goal A Priority.

This is important.

One of the biggest reasons so few people actually achieve their goals is that ‘goals’ are never urgent. Ever.

There’s always something else we put first. You have to stop doing that.

Don’t worry about all the incidental things you have to do during the day – if they’re really important, they’ll get done.

If the kids need feeding, you’ll feed them. If the dog urgently needs walking you’ll walk him. If someone gets ill, you’ll go help them.

But you know, you’ll be surprised at how many of those incidental things that crop up and distract us during the day, really aren’t that urgent and can be done later.

‘Stop Procrastinating’ Step 4 - How do I find the time?

procrastinating - clock

We all have 24 hours in a day. That’s it. We all have the same amount of time.

So why do some mums and dads with kids who work full time achieve the things they really want and some don’t?

Why do some divorcees and some widow/ers achieve the things they want and some don’t?

Why do some people who survive critical illnesses go on and achieve the things they want and some don’t?

Why do some people with medical conditions or physical disabilities achieve the things they want and some don’t?

You only have to browse YouTube for a few minutes nowadays to see all the ‘regular’ people who are striving to achieve more than they currently have.

There has never been a better time to create the life you actually want to be living.

And we all only have 24 hours in a day.

The truth is you can’t manage time. You can only manage yourself and what you do in the time you have.

There are so many tools and resources available for helping you manage your tasks but, at the end of the day, if you’re not prepared to take responsibility for your time, none of them will work.

Letting other people dictate how your day goes is one of the biggest mistakes I see.

You are responsible for your 24 hours and you are responsible for saying ‘No’ to other people – whether it’s your parents, grandparents, partner, children or boss.

Shelving your own plans at the drop of a hat to go off and see to someone else’s wishes is incredibly common and is another form of procrastinating.

One of my favourite chapters of any book is the ‘Persistence’ Chapter in Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and I find myself continually referring clients to the following passage:

Hill says “Countless numbers of men and women, both young and old, permit relatives to wreck their lives in the name of DUTY because they fear criticism. (Duty does not require anyone to submit to the destruction of one’s personal ambitions and the right to live one’s own life in one’s own way)”.

You don’t have to become some uncaring recluse but you do have to start taking control of your time.

One of the worksheets I give my clients is designed to identify the ‘leaks’ in their day.

You can do a similar thing by following these instructions:

Take a pad of paper and write down all of the different things that take up your time each and every day. Include every curricular and extracurricular activity. Be ruthless!

This is not the time to be forgiving – we’re looking for change, not excuses.

Once you’ve done this, underline or tick off all the things that can go for at least the next month, to give you the time and space to work on whatever it is you’re looking to achieve.

What can you ask another friend or relative to help with? What can you move so you do it last thing on an evening or first thing on a morning to clear your working day? What can you just get rid of altogether?

Then do it. Make a commitment to eliminate the things (for the short-term, remember it’s not forever) that eat up major amounts of time each day and week.

You can slowly start to add things back in when you feel like you’re making headway.

Remember: “A strong focus now creates a different future later.”

‘Stop Procrastinating’ Step 5 - How do I make sure I stick to it?

Procrastinating - stick to diet

Now you’ve got clear on what you need to do, it’s imperative that you remind yourself constantly of what’s possible if you just do it!

Visual reminders are good (like a vision board, a goal card or even just a post-it-note with one word on it) and sticking them in multiple places – on your bathroom mirror, your car dashboard, next to the kettle etc. – is a great way to make sure that goal stays top of mind.

I like to write out how I’ll feel when I’ve accomplished my goal, however big or small it is, in the present tense.

For example: “I’m so happy and grateful now I have finished writing my book and am sharing my ideas with the world”, “I’m so happy and grateful now I have lost 2 stone in weight and feel confident and sexy in my holiday bikini”, “I’m so happy and grateful now I have de-cluttered and cleaned my office – I feel professional, organised and productive.”

It might feel a bit silly at first but believe me, writing out these kind of statements multiple times a day (I aim for 100 if I’m struggling to stay focused) or recording yourself saying the statement and playing it to yourself on loop during the day actually works wonders.

And there’s a science behind this kind of repetition.

Remember I spoke about your paradigm in the intro to this post and how important it is to change it?

This is the first step in re-programming that paradigm.

Actually imagining yourself achieving your goal (and, importantly, feeling that feeling of success) over and over again is the constant, spaced repetition of ideas that will lead to permanent change.

And finally…let go of what other people might think.

Fear of being ridiculed, embarrassed, disliked or thought of as being selfish or greedy will all hold you back and stop you doing what you know needs to be done.

And if that fear is bigger than your desire to achieve what you want to achieve, you’re on a hiding to nowhere.

So ask yourself…is it?

Resources:

‘Think & Grow Rich’ – Napoleon Hill And ‘The Science Of Getting Rich’ by Wallace D Wattles

Emma Hague And Bob Proctor
Proctor Gallagher Consultant logo

Emma Hague is a Certified Proctor Gallagher Consultant and Real Results Mentor based in the U. K.

A qualified accountant by profession, Emma now teaches self-employed women (and some very lucky men!) over 40 in the UK, USA & Canada how to achieve their life-goals – no matter where they might be right now.

As a business owner for over 14 years, Emma believes passionately that we need to take control of (and responsibility for) our own lives in order to create the freedom we all want.

Away from her business, Emma is an avid rugby league fan and loves to spend time with her family (she is mum to two young girls and two grown-up step-sons).

She also enjoys running, beach holidays and going on city breaks with her husband, Karl.

Emma’s own turning point came when, having hit rock bottom financially, she realised that after selling the family home to pay off debts and just try to ‘get in front’,  she would likely struggle to ever get a mortgage again.

Bringing their dream of a large, beautiful family home and worldwide travel crashing down around them.

Furious with herself, and the system, Emma committed to taking back control and creating the future she wants for her and her family by doing whatever it takes to create the life she really wants – and to help others do the same.

Emma understands the frustration, and time pressure felt by men and women who are entering the second half of their life and wondering how they’ll ever achieve the things they dream of before their time on this planet is over.

She is a coach and mentor grounded in the real-world and can help you create what’s next for you.

Achieve Your Life Goals

The 9-Step Proven Formula To Actually Turn Your Life-Goals Into Achievements, So You Can Stop Wishing And Start Planning

Want to learn how to actually achieve your life-goals and live a better life? Watch the video version here:

In this post, I’ll be sharing the 9 steps I’ve been following myself over the last 18 months and now teach other men and women over 40 who have decided that now is the time to commit to working towards the things they REALLY want in life…

 

OR risk getting to the end of their time on this planet having never achieved their life-goals at all.

 

I understand YOU really well because I AM you…and I’ve been in your shoes.

 

You’ve read so many blog posts, watched so many YouTube videos, listened to podcasts and audio books till you can repeat them verbatim and the online courses you’ve paid for…Jeez.

 

Maybe you feel like you should be able to put all this together to create the income and the lifestyle you really want – but something always seems to be missing.

 

I know what it’s like to want to make a real difference for others and to create an amazing future for you and your family while doing it

 

And that means you need a simple strategy to get crystal clear on exactly what that future looks like and practical steps to help you get there…

 

so you can create the impact and income you are meant to be making in this world.

 

That’s exactly what I hope to provide for you in this post, as I walk you
through the exact steps I lead my clients through to help them achieve any life-goal they set themselves:

 

'Achieve My Life-Goals' Step 1: Ask Yourself 'Is My Goal The Right Goal'?

life-goal

In other words…”Is My Life-Goal BIG Enough?”

If it’s NOT, you might need to make some changes…

(GREAT NEWS: Crazy as it may seem, picking a life-goal that just seems totally out of reach at the moment actually makes it more likely that you’ll achieve it than one you know you can probably do!) 

On our campus, we divide goals into 3 categories – A, B & C Type Goals.

An A-type Goal is a goal you already know you can achieve. So let’s say you bought a new car a few years ago, and you want to do the same again next year. You know you can do it.

That’s not a true goal. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t get a new car but it’s not a goal.

A B-Type Goal is something you think you can probably achieve. If ‘this’ happens and ‘that’ happens…if you just try a bit harder than last year…

A lot of people go for this type of goal because it seems like a bit more of a stretch to them than an A-Type Goal, and they want to see different results. Better results.

The problem is there’s just no motivation in an ‘incremental’ goal. There’s no joy in just doing ‘slightly better’ than you are now.

The purpose of a true life-goal is to make you grow.

A true goal should make you pull something from deep inside you that you didn’t even know was there.

The reason the vast majority of people never achieve their goals is because they’re going for A or B-Type Goals. There’s no real burning desire to achieve them. Not really.

So when things get tough, or it just looks like it’s not going to happen…they give up.

There’s not that much to lose.

A C-Type Goal, however, is what we deal with. It starts off as a fantasy – a dream, if you like.

It’s a goal that lights you up inside, a BIG goal that would change your life so dramatically that it lights a fire inside you. 

A vision of how you desperately WANT things to be – your income, your relationships, your health, the way you serve people…your life.

So this is where we start.

What do you really, REALLY want?

Not what do you think your kids want or your partner wants or what your parents want you to want…What. Do. You. Want?

Build a picture – a crystal clear, detailed vision – of the life you want to be living in 3-years’ time and write it down. All of it.

Once you’ve done that, pick one element. The most important piece of that jigsaw. If you could just achieve one thing, what would it be?

Maybe it’s a 5-bedroom house by the ocean, or your dream car, or speaking to a room of 200 people, or taking the kids to Disney, or a soul-mate you can spend the rest of your life building dreams with…

 Pick the one thing that means the most and write it down.

 That’s the life-goal you’re going to spend every waking hour focused on achieving from now on.

 

Resources:

https://emmahague.com/goals-are-big-goals-silly/

https://emmahague.com/big-worthy-goals/

'Achieve My Life-Goals' Step 2: Creating Habits For A Better Life

life-goals

There’s an enormous difference between what most people know, and what they actually do with that information. We call this the Knowing / Doing Gap.

Most people know what they need to do to be successful (even if they don’t know all the details of exactly how).

On the whole, however, people are not taking the actions they know they need to take to actually achieve whatever it is they want to achieve.

The reason for this is their ‘Paradigm’ – the current conditioning in the sub-conscious (or ‘doing’) part of their mind – which is trying to keep them on the path they are currently on.

A bit like a plane’s auto-pilot is programmed to keep the aircraft travelling on a pre-determined course.

Although a person might have gained all the knowledge or information they need to make changes and achieve their life-goals, this knowledge is stored in a completely different part of the mind to the Paradigm.

This knowledge / information is stored in the conscious part of the mind, or the ‘educated’ mind.

It is a person’s subconscious mind (or doing mind) that drives their habitual behaviour.

AND…almost all of our behaviour is habitual.

It is therefore the Paradigm, situated within the subconscious mind, which must be changed to allow any kind of permanent changes in results to take place.

More and more information is of little use without changing your behaviour at the primary source – your Paradigm.

There are only 2 ways to change a Paradigm:

  • A big emotional impact (usually negative like a bereavement, divorce or global pandemic!)
  • Constant, spaced repetition of ideas (this is the technique we use to re-programme your Paradigm in the Thinking Into Results programme).

You must identify those non-productive habits and behaviours you are currently displaying…

And replace them with productive habits and behaviours – ones which will actively move you slowly towards the results you DO want.

Take some time to think about that specific goal you identified in step one – and make a note of all the things you’re doing on a daily basis that are either holding you back from making progress or actually creating the opposite results to what you really want.

Then think about what positive actions you want to replace them with.

Obviously, we all have very different daily routines and different habits.

Choose the number 1 habit you want to work on replacing that will have the biggest impact for you with regard to you achieving your life-goal and start to consciously implement it.

It’s the constant repetition of carrying out the new, productive action whenever you would normally perform the old, non-productive action that will change your programming over time – your Paradigm.

'Step 3: Use Your Infinite Mind

life-goals reflection

Paradigms are responsible for how we think, feel and act on an hour-to-hour, day-to-day basis. They are the result of all the programming we have ever received – both genetically in the womb and environmentally growing up.

The information we have received and the experiences and feelings we have been exposed to over the years have conditioned us to think a certain way, and to believe certain ‘truths’.

Paradigms formed using this information have enormous influence over everything we do. They control how a person’s logic is structured. So what may seem logical to one person seems completely illogical to someone else.

As the current Paradigm controls our thoughts, which in turn control our actions and then our results, in order to have any chance of achieving better results than we are currently, it is necessary to first change the Paradigm.

We have to break out of the invisible box that our current Paradigm keeps us locked in – and most people will require the help of a coach or mentor to do this.

Our programming has taken place over such a long time (decades) that for most of us it will require persistence, courage and determination to change the thought patterns and habits that have become a part of who we currently are.

This means you must first be able to ‘see’ yourself with these new habits so that your Paradigm starts to accept them, before you will be able to change them permanently.

While ever your new habit is at odds with what your Paradigm thinks is ‘normal’ for you, it will continue to reject the new habit / behaviour / thought and you will keep reverting back to the old one.

For the purposes of this blog post, I advise you write out a number of positive affirmations to repeat multiple times during the day.

Constant, spaced repetition of ideas is the only controllable way to change your Paradigm.

For example:

“I am so happy and grateful now…”

“I have become super productive by jumping out of bed when my alarm sounds at 5.30am and heading straight downstairs for a welcome, fresh cup of coffee.”

“creating time and money freedom for me and my family has become a habit by spending from 9am to 10am every day, without fail, researching my new business.”

“I am creating more energy, clearer skin and faster weight loss by drinking a full glass of refreshing water whenever I am thirsty.”

Visualise yourself performing the new habit as often as possible and repeat the affirmations as many times as you can first thing on a morning, at lunchtime and last thing at night.

NOTE: If you’ve never done anything like this before, this may seem a little strange but it is absolutely the key to staying focused, changing your behaviour and, ultimately, your results. It won’t work over night (it’s not magic!) but try it over a few weeks and see what happens.

''Achieve My Life-Goals' Step 4: Create Your Schedule For Success

life-goals action plan

Positive affirmations are great for getting us into the vibration we need to be in to attract everything we need to achieve our life-goal.

I’ll be going deep into the Laws of Vibration and Attraction in Day 4 of my FREE 5-Day Science Of Success Quick-Start Challenge, so if you haven’t booked your seat yet, do it now at https://academy.emmahague.com/free-challenge 🙂       

And if you’ve completed steps 1-3 of this blog post in full and have put them into practice, ‘CONGRATULATIONS’!

You’re already in the top 3%! 97% of the population will never even attempt this (which is why the majority of people never get what they REALLY want).

However, on their own positive affirmations will change nothing. This is the mistake most people make when trying to use the Law Of Attraction, and it’s why the majority will never make that work for them either.

Emerson said the Law of Cause and Effect was ‘the law of all laws’. And he was right. Every effect has a cause and every cause has an effect. Every action has a re-action.

In other words, if you want to change your results (the effects) you need to change what you’re doing (the cause).

To put this into practice in your life, you must start to take tangible steps to make it happen – however small they may be at first – and yes, we do teach our clients to use affirmations and ‘visioneering’ to make this more effective.

I use a ‘Bullet Journal’ to keep all my ideas, visioneering and scheduling in one place and I’ve put the links to the one I use (and a ‘How To Use It’ guide) below.

This step in this post is all about creating a daily schedule to give yourself a routine to follow and start to make changing that habitual behaviour a reality.

Take a look again at that habitual behaviour you want to change and build practical steps into your day to bring the change about. Literally mark timed activities in your diary system with a reminder to help you maintain discipline.

If nothing changes, nothing will change.

Resources:

life

Step 5: “I CAN Achieve My Goals”

life-goals belief

“Whatever the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

~ Napoleon Hill

If you don’t genuinely believe you can do something, chances are you’ll never do it.

In step 1 I asked you to pick a goal that seems out of reach currently – a fantasy, if you like.

Most of our clients start out not believing at all that they can actually achieve their goal.

And that’s fine. To start with.

If that’s you, now is the time to start asking yourself why. Why do you believe that other people can have this ‘thing’ that you want, but you can’t?

The usual reason is because our Paradigm is talking to us all the time and pointing out our current results.

It points out your current bank balance, your current debts, your current living arrangements, the current economic environment. And tells you there’s just no way you can do this in light of your current situation.

But the truth is all people who have ever achieved anything in life have had to come through adversity.

And the way they have all done that is by honing in on that life-goal, and becoming obsessed with achieving it.

By finding ways around their current situation.

By re-programming their mind to know that they CAN have it – they might not currently know HOW exactly, but it is absolutely possible.

This re-programming involves strengthening all your six higher mental faculties – your perception, will, imagination, intuition, reason and memory.

But for our purposes here, it’s your perception I want you to use – the way you look at things, or the angle you see them from.

So ask yourself:

“DO I believe I am able to do this? I might not know how but do I believe I am able?”

If not, ask yourself “Why do I believe that I’m not able to do this?”

Then ask yourself “Is this belief based on an actual fact or on an assumption – a false conclusion?”

Then ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Is there any rational reason for such a belief?
  2. Could it be that I am mistaken in this belief?
  3. Would I come to the same conclusion about some other person in a similar situation?
  4. Why should I continue to act and feel as if this were true if there is no good reason to believe it?

 

In a few lines, write out what you believe IS possible for you and how you have come to that conclusion.

'Achieve My Life-Goals' Step 6: Live A Better Life NOW

life-goals kitten

As part of your Paradigm, the self-image that you hold of yourself in your sub-conscious mind controls your thoughts, feelings and actions.

If that self-image is a negative one – or a limiting one – your results are going to be a direct reflection of that negative image. A positive, confident self-image will produce positive results.

This image has developed over many years – in fact part of the image was handed down genetically to us before we were even born. Things we were told, witnessed or experienced while we were growing up added to this base to leave us with the internal image we have of ourselves now.

Whether we have a positive or a negative self-image currently, the good news is it can be changed. The key to a positive self-image is letting our perfect, spiritual DNA shine through.

We must use the higher mental faculties we have been given (see Step 5) to strip away the negative ‘virus code’ of fear, doubt, anxiety, guilt, shame and embarrassment to allow our true self to come through.

It is this ‘inner self’ that is always reaching for greater expansion and fuller expression.

Which is why we often find ourselves with this seemingly inexplicable feeling that ‘there must be more to life than this’.

There is.

And your inner ‘self’ knows it and is trying to get you to move towards it.

We strip away this ‘virus code’ by making a decision. You must make a decision about the person you want to be.

By using your imagination and your will to visualise yourself actually becoming this person and becoming emotionally involved with this image – really feeling what it’s like to be that person – we internalise it and impress the new self-image on our subconscious mind.

Once there, the new, improved self-image can supersede the old one and put you in pride of place to start to change your results.

So to begin this process, write out a full detailed description of the person you want to be…

The person who actually achieves the goal you have set for yourself.

How do they talk?

How do they greet people?

What do they wear?

How do they handle problems?

Where do they work?

How do they walk?

Where do they go on vacation?

How do they walk?

Write out as much as you can possibly think of – at least a side of A4 paper – and then create 5 – 10 ‘I am’ Statements.

For example:

“I love being around people and am interested in what they do.”

“I wear tailored, pressed suits to my office every day and wear light, natural make-up,”

“I am able to stay calm in all situations and am able to confidently respond to problems instead of hastily reacting.”

Read these statements out loud while looking in the mirror morning and evening.

Your self-conscious mind trusts the sound of your own voice and will quickly start to believe the statements you are repeating.

Once this happens you’ll notice a difference in your feelings about yourself and your potential – and subsequently your actions and your results.

“Before you can do something, you must first be something” – Johann Von Goethe

Resources:

'Achieve My Life-Goals' Step 7: Let Go Of The Fear

Life-Goals Fear

Once you start to actually give some time to these new ideas, thoughts and goals and you begin to let yourself become emotionally involved with them, your Paradigm starts to come up with a whole manner of ‘reasons’ why you shouldn’t pay any attention to them.

The new ideas you’re starting to entertain (we call them Y-Type ideas) are out of alignment with your current conditioning (X-Type conditioning) which causes conflict in your conscious mind.

You’re trying to get to grips with these ideas and work out how you could make them work, and your Paradigm is working against you, trying to kick them out!

This conflict causes you to feel genuine discomfort – often manifesting itself as anxiety, worry and fear.           

It’s this fear that then stops most people progressing. They hit this ‘Terror Barrier’ (as we call it in Thinking Into Results) and just bounce right off it and back into their comfort zone.                                           

They go back to doing what they were doing before because it doesn’t feel as scary, and the Paradigm helps them feel better about it by coming up with justifications like ‘You can always do it next year instead…’…‘It’s not really your thing anyway is it?’…’You’re much better off spending that time/energy/money with the kids instead’…

And they stay stuck.

So getting to grips with what worries you about going for this big goal, right off the bat, is important.

I want you to write down all the worries, concerns, fears, doubts and anxieties that come up for you when you visualise yourself going for this big life-goal. All of them. 

Then, when you’ve completed your list, go through it and write down all the things you will do or put in place to either prevent those scary things happening or help you deal with them if they do.

And commit to pushing through that Terror Barrier when it rears its ugly head.

Because “the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek”.

Step 8: What Needs To Be True?

life-goals truth

I often hear people say they ‘believe’ something is possible because they’ve seen other people do it. They will say ‘Well, they’re no more clever than I am’…’They come from the same city as me’…’They went to the same college as me’…

So if they can do it, why can’t I?

But there’s a difference between saying you believe you can do something and actually believing it deep-down, at a soul-level.

At a sub-conscious level.

As it’s our sub-conscious mind that dictates our actions and behaviour (and therefore our results), this conflict causes confusion and means that, although we might say we can be, do or have something, we will never actually achieve it because our behaviour is demonstrating something else.

We are not actually doing the things we need to do to achieve our goal.

On our campus, we teach a method called ‘Praxis’ – that is, the integration of beliefs with behaviours.

And it starts with re-connecting, at an emotional level, with the vision of what it is we really want.

By constant repetition of this vision and by impressing it on our subconscious mind by really feeling how it will improve our lives, we will move into the vibration we need to be in to create genuine belief, shift our Paradigm and generate the cause that will generate the desired results.

So take some time to visualise that big life-goal. Really imagine yourself having achieved that one thing you chose in Step 1 and hold the picture on the screen of your mind as long as you can.        

Imagine how it will feel to have achieved it. Really feel it in your stomach.

Now ask yourself

“What would need to be true for me to believe, at a soul-level, that I can do this?”

“And how can I bring that about?”

'Achieve My Life-Goals' Step 9: The Magic Word Is ‘Attitude’

life-goals attitude

It’s no coincidence that as you move up the management structure in a company, the attitudes of those you meet seem to get better!

These people don’t have a great attitude because they’re successful – they are successful because they have a great attitude.

Our attitude is responsible, in very large part, for the results we are currently experiencing.

It’s a culmination of our thoughts, feelings and actions and they are ultimately determined by the ideas we entertain in our conscious mind.

As neutral energy/spirit flows to and through us, we decide whether to make it positive or negative by the thoughts that we choose.

Our conscious mind has the ability to reject negative ideas and thoughts and to only allow positive thoughts to be impressed upon the subconscious mind (in other words, to only dwell on and become emotionally involved with positive thoughts).

Any thoughts and ideas that we allow ourselves to become emotionally involved with (positive OR negative) are impressed upon our subconscious mind.

As it is the subconscious mind that controls the vibration of the body, it follows that positive thoughts will lead to the body being in a positive vibration (and taking positive actions) and negative thoughts result in the body taking negative actions.

It is, therefore, important to understand that we have absolute control over which thoughts and ideas we entertain. We can choose to accept or reject ideas and, in fact, any information that is delivered to us through our physical senses – what we see, hear, smell, taste and touch.

No one can cause you to think something you do not want to think, you have the freedom to think anything you want to think. Looking for the good in everything will help maintain a positive vibration, a better attitude and better results.

And the vibration you are in will determine how other people interact with you.

Being able to shake off negative energy – negative thoughts – is crucial to being able to stay on track every day and do what you need to do to achieve your goal.

What are you taking in from your external world that is affecting your ability to stay focused and positive towards your goal? What actions will you take to remedy this?

Emma Hague And Bob Proctor
Proctor Gallagher Consultant logo

Emma Hague is a Certified Proctor Gallagher Consultant and Real Results Mentor based in the U. K.

A qualified accountant by profession, Emma now teaches self-employed women (and some very lucky men!) over 40 in the UK, USA & Canada how to achieve their life-goals – no matter where they might be right now.

As a business owner for over 14 years, Emma believes passionately that we need to take control of (and responsibility for) our own lives in order to create the freedom we all want.

Away from her business, Emma is an avid rugby league fan and loves to spend time with her family (she is mum to two young girls and two grown-up step-sons).

She also enjoys running, beach holidays and going on city breaks with her husband, Karl.

Emma’s own turning point came when, having hit rock bottom financially, she realised that after selling the family home to pay off debts and just try to ‘get in front’,  she would likely struggle to ever get a mortgage again.

Bringing their dream of a large, beautiful family home and worldwide travel crashing down around them.

Furious with herself, and the system, Emma committed to taking back control and creating the future she wants for her and her family by doing whatever it takes to create the life she really wants – and to help others do the same.

Emma understands the frustration, and time pressure felt by men and women who are entering the second half of their life and wondering how they’ll ever achieve the things the dream of before their time on this planet is over.

She is a coach and mentor grounded in the real-world and can help you create what’s next for you.

Why Are So Many Famous Entrepreneurs Seemingly Uneducated, And So Many Really Smart People Unsuccessful?

Famous entrepreneurs – the ones we all want to emulate when we first start out in business – operate totally differently to the masses.

OK, you probably already know that – but do you know why?

The fact is, there is a huge difference between what most people know and what we actually do.

So many people try to improve their results (and those of
other people) by flooding their minds with more and more information.

They go on endless courses, attend more and more trainings,
study for qualifications far beyond what they’ll ever actually need…

All resulting in them receiving tons of information that
sits in their memory ready to be regurgitated as and when needed – but not
actually being used to generate results.

This is the reason why we see so many intelligent, very well
educated people with letters after their name coming off the end of their
business card, who seem to have spent a large chunk of their lives in and out
of further education – who are completely broke.

Many of them are stuck in jobs they’d rather not be in,
living with their parents or in rented accommodation, earning far less income
than they could do – all because they aren’t aware what to do with all that
knowledge they’ve absorbed over the years.

Yes, they can repeat it, they can tell you facts and
figures, they can make well-argued points and write well-constructed
opinions…but that very rarely translates into the ability to achieve the things
they really want in life.

Far more valuable is the ability to take action – to actually do what we already know how to do.

To look at our lives and identify all the things we are currently doing that are holding us back and replace them with thoughts, ideas and behaviours that will actually move us towards where we want to be in life.

And it’s this action-taking ability that sets those famous entrepreneurs apart from the hundreds of thousands of business owners who give up and close their doors within 3 years of starting.

We call this the knowing/doing gap, and we transform it in Day 2 of my FREE 5 Day ‘Science Of Success’ Quick-Start Challenge

Regardless of their educational, family or ethnic background, most people already KNOW what they need to do to be successful on their chosen path, they’re just not doing it.

The truth is that we were raised in a world and received
schooling in a system where the focus was on taking in the information and then
recognising the individual for how much they could remember.

However, we are now living in a world that isn’t really interested in what you know. In fact just about the only people who are being recognised today (including those famous entrepreneurs you see on YouTube who seem to be ‘just like you and me’) are the ones who will actually do things – the ones who get the job done.

The good news is that, in almost every case, without any further study, pretty much everyone can improve their performance and enjoy greater results with what they already know.

Think about a current situation where you’re not receiving
the results you really want – in your life or in your business.

What’s the gap between what you know you should be doing, and what you’re actually doing that would start to rectify this?

What’s your
knowing/doing gap?

Goals

What if it just feels silly having big goals?

We are constantly being told we need to ‘aim high in life’, ‘to reach for the stars’, to ‘build big goals’ – and I absolutely, whole heartedly agree.

It’s what I teach my clients and, in my experience, having a BIG goal is the single biggest difference between people who achieve any level of success in life, and those who don’t.

However, there is an innate part of being a human that means we want to be accepted by others. We want to be liked.

We don’t want to be ridiculed, criticised or looked down upon by our family, friends or peers and it’s this fear that can drive these feelings of foolishness and naivety.

And one of the biggest, quickest, guaranteed killers of dreams (BIG goals) is fear of what other people will think.

The honest truth is, there is a very good chance that if, when you’ve decided on your C-Type goal (and if you haven’t, you really need to join my next FREE 5-Day Science Of Success Challenge!), you start telling the people around you what it is, you’re not going to get the positive response you’re looking for.

The first question you’re likely to hear, if you do tell them about this new, worthy goal you’re working towards is ‘how do you plan to do that?’

And if you don’t yet know how you’re going to do it, the doubts start to kick in.

What you must understand is that the people who ask that question, the ones who will try to force their negative energy onto you by trying to make you justify or explain your goals, are the ones who will never achieve fulfilment in their own lives.

They may be acting out of jealousy, guilt or a genuine fear for your wellbeing in some way, usually driven by their own fears.

Are these the people you really want to be taking advice from?

Those who are truly successful themselves and are on the path to achieving their own goals do not behave in this way.

My advice is 3-fold:

  1. Don’t tell them. No-one needs to know what your C-Type goal is. It’s your goal. The people, help, ideas and resources you need will start to come as you focus internally on achieving it and start to put your own action steps in place to work towards it. There is absolutely no need to tell anyone who is not already on their own path to a C-Type Goal.
  2. Surround yourself with positive, uplifting people. Those who are, themselves, immersed in personal growth work will support and encourage you. Start to distance yourself from negative people who complain about their own circumstances but will do nothing to improve them.
  3. Work on your own personal growth and self-image so that you are able to completely disregard any criticism or negative comments without internalising them. Allowing other people and outside circumstances to dictate how you feel will affect the actions you take and the results you get.

One of the greatest, most valuable attributes of a truly successful person is the ability to make one’s own decisions, based on what you really want, and stick to them – without having to ask everyone and his dog for their opinion.

Perfecting the art of decision making and learning to control your emotions will lead to a quantum leap in getting the results you really want and is the secret to actually achieving those big life goals.

You can read more articles like this at www.emmahague.com

How can I move from charging by the hour to offering higher priced packages?

One of the biggest mistakes I made in my own first business, and I see other small business owners doing today, is charging clients by the hour.

Not only does this put an automatic cap on what you can earn in any given week (because there are a finite number of hours in a week) but I also find that, when working out their estimated income, a lot of business owners forget that, when you’re really trying to get a successful business going and regular money coming in, more than 50% of your time really needs to be spent on marketing so you can keep your pipeline full.

That’s 50% of your time that no-one is going to pay you for.

When I first speak with clients to set their 12-month and 90-day Bold Money Goals, I will often hear something like “ Well, I’m going to be charging £25 an hour and working a 40 hour week, so I’m expecting to earn 40 x 25 = £1,000 a week.”

Well, that’s all well and good if every single one of those hours are billable hours – in other words, as long as those 40 hours are packed, back-to-back with work your clients are paying you for.

But that’s never the case. Because where are those clients going to come from if you’re not spending any time marketing?

So, if we estimate that 50% of the time we should be marketing, then allow for admin (raising invoices, paying bills, sending out agreements, book-keeping etc.) you’re more likely looking at 22-23 money-producing hours per week.

And if you’re charging £25 an hour that works out more like £550 – £575 a week.

And that’s a) assuming you can fill every available hour with work and b) not taking into account people who don’t show up, people who don’t pay or pay late or those clients who you under-quoted so you’re going to have to charge them for less time than you actually gave them.

So what’s the answer?

Packages.

Stop charging by the hour and, instead, create fixed-price packages that your clients pay for either up-front or by way of a deposit then monthly instalments.

I can already hear the objections from here J but hear me out.

When you charge by the hour, you create 2 major problems for yourself that you just do not need to have:

  1. Potential clients will automatically compare your hourly rate to that charged by the next person who offers what you offer. They have no idea what differences exist between you both in terms of experience, qualifications or service delivery but they will think they are comparing apples with apples and they WILL make a judgement based on price – and that’s never good.
  2. You run the risk of people querying a) the number of hours or sessions it takes you to complete your service for them – they’ll have one eye on the number of hours/sessions they’re going to have to pay for and b) stopping using your services before they’ve had chance to see any real results.

Each of these can lead to you feeling like you have to justify what you’re charging or even revising your charges down if someone challenges you.

Creating a fixed price package and agreeing the pricing in advance, on the other hand, completely eliminates this problem. It also:

  • Makes your business more profitable because fixed-price packages bring in greater income per client
  • Frees up more of your time because you don’t need to work with as many people to reach your desired income goals
  • Creates greater cash flow even with a small list or small number of contacts
  • Keeps you from slipping into over-delivering and burning out
  • Focuses your business on creating extraordinary results for your clients, not on selling your time, which liberates you to enjoy your business and love your life
  • Means you become known as one of the best at what you do
  • Elevates your sense of self-worth and makes you feel fulfilled at a soul level
  • Keeps your business simple to run, which synergistically lowers the stress of running a business

So, have I convinced you yet?

No?

Back to those objections then – virtually everyone I work with starts off with some kind of objection towards creating packages, so I’ve put the most common 3 below with my advice. J

  1. I don’t know how long it’s going to take to solve a person’s problem – it could be 2 sessions (or hours), it could be 20. I can’t  say how long it will take until we start so it would be unethical to charge them for a full package if they don’t need it.

The point of having a package is that you take your client through a particular step-by-step process that you’ve designed with their best interests at heart (see my article on your Branded Signature System). Your ideal clients just want to know that if they work with you, they will experience the results they’re looking for.

That might be fixing their problem completely or it might just mean a significant improvement for them – depending on the services you offer.

Even if their problem is entirely ‘fixed’ by step 2 of your process, you will still take them through the rest of your package to make sure they get the best results they possibly can from working with you. Probably better than they could have imagined.

You are showing them, up front what your package consists of and what it costs, and that is what they are paying for. You have moved the focus away from the number of hours or sessions it takes and towards the results they want.

Do you really think someone is going to complain if you manage to completely fix their problem quicker than they were hoping for?

It just doesn’t happen that way when you offer packages instead of talking about hours/sessions.

  • My clients all have different needs, I can’t possibly create one package to suit all.

Yes you can.

When you have worked out exactly who your ideal client is (we use the Niche Breakthrough Secrets method) and the specific problem they are facing, you will see that there are commonalities across all those particular clients.

When you examine what you actually do with each client, you will see that there are things that you do, steps that you go through over and over again with every single one of those clients, and you will continue to go through with new clients that you enrol.

It is this that becomes your Branded Signature System.

Of course, if you want to add additional, bespoke items, sessions or bonuses for clients who have additional needs you can do that – and you can decide whether to charge a premium for that.

It’s your business, your decision.

The point is that the main package is in place for you to follow so that you become an absolute expert at delivering it and you have a basis to start from that is not based on your time – it is based on the results you want your clients to experience.

You know exactly what you’re going to do for your client and so do they.

  • I’ll lose the clients who pay me hourly if I switch to package only offerings.

No you won’t. Not all of them.

When you show them the process you are going to take them through and the results they can expect at the end of it, your ideal clients will jump at the chance to take you up on your offer.

And the ones who want to continue to pay hourly are free to go continue to do that with someone else.

My experience shows that the loss of those who want to continue paying by the hour is far outweighed, financially, by those who move to the new package.

And, let me tell you, the clients you take into your packages will be FAR better clients to work with – more committed to following your advice, more interested in doing their own additional research and more appreciative of your expertise – than hourly payers ever will be.

It’s just a fact.

If you’d like to learn, step-by-step, how to create lucrative premium packages that sell, join me in my Ignite Mastermind & Coaching programme at https://emmahague.leadpages.co/mastermind

How do I make my service more marketable?

I meet many business owners who offer a very broad range of services.

We tend to think that the more things we can ‘do’ for people, the more people we can help so the more clients we’ll get.

It’s why so many business owners spend thousands and thousands of pounds learning more skills, getting more qualifications, more letters after their name…but not earning any more money.

The real truth in business is ‘It ain’t what you do, it’s the way that you do it.’

I can tell you now, if you’re the owner of a service business, there are thousands of other people already offering what you offer. And that’s good. Because it means there is demand for it.

But I can also tell you that simply having a longer list of services than your competitor is NOT going to help you attract clients.

Take a look at your competitors websites – most of them are just a long list of the services they offer. And most of those are probably the same as the services you offer.

And here’s the thing – a lot of your potential clients, people visiting those websites, have not the foggiest idea what most of those services are or how they can help them with the problem they have.

I talk a lot about how specialising in a particular field is the key to Charging What You’re Worth, and if you’re going to grab the attention of your ideal clients it is absolutely crucial.

You need to switch your focus away from the service you offer and towards how you can help your ideal clients.

(Of course, to do this, you first need to know who your ideal clients are – we cover this is the Niche Breakthrough Secrets module of my Ignite Mastermind & Coaching programme but I’ve also written a number of articles about it). 🙂

So, to make your services more marketable, you need to think about the problem that your ideal clients have and how you can solve it for them in absolutely the best way possible.

This is how we go about creating your Signature System – a step-by-step process that is unique to you, that you take your clients through to get them from where they are now to where they want to be.

A process you can talk about with clarity and confidence, knowing that no-one else does this.

No-one.

Because you’ve designed it.

Having your own Branded Signature System (we give it a unique name) suddenly raises you automatically to expert status.

It gives you confidence that you can help your clients get the results they want, and it gives them confidence in you – because they can see you have a thought out process and can see how each of the steps is going to get them nearer to their goal.

It makes your service more ‘tangible’. It has suddenly become a ‘product’. And people are prepared to pay more for something they can ‘see’.

AND (this is huge) it completely eradicates the threat of competition – because your competitor are not offering what you’re offering. And that means no-one can compare you on price any more.

Once you’ve got your Branded Signature System set out, you can do all sorts with it:

  • you can create mini-products or services for each individual step
  • you can create a ‘premium’ version for people who want more of your time or BONUS treatments/services
  • you can lay out the steps on your website and in your marketing literature to show people exactly how you will help them get results
  • you can move current clients onto your new, improved package and increase your fees

Having a Branded Signature System really is the key to being able to make your services uber-marketable and being able to finally charge what you’re worth.

So how do you do it?

Well, our process uses a set of templates, worksheets and exercises to create, name and market your Branded Signature System but, to get started on your own these are the steps I would recommend:

  • Get crystal clear on your ideal client (niche) and exactly what the specific, urgent problem is that they have and you can help them solve
  • Starting from where they are now, think about what the very first thing you will do with them is, when you start working with them and write it down.
  • Now think of the 2nd thing you’ll do with them, after that initial step – and write it down
  • And the 3rd, 4th, 5th and so on until you finish at a point where you’ve completed your process with them.
  • Now you might end up with a ton of steps, and that’s fine for this exercise – but you need to start to group those steps together so you end up with 5 or 6 steps really. Certainly no more than 7 I would say.
  • Once you’ve got your 5 or 6 step process, go back through the steps and see what you could add to each step, that would not take more of your time but would really help your client get an amazing result.
  • Give your system a unique name based on the results your client will get from working with you
  • Start telling everyone about it!

I have yet to find a business that this does not work for.

Yes, virtually everyone I speak to (particularly therapists, healers, coaches and other business owners who really could help ‘anybody’) tells me this won’t work in their industry.

And yes, it absolutely does work for all industriesand all my clients.

Take a look at the entrepreneurial leaders in your sector. I’ll bet they’re known for being an expert in a particular area (not a jack of all trades) and I’ll bet they have their own branded signature system.

Done properly, your Branded Signature System will not only make you stand out from the crowd, it will give you the confidence you need to sell more and will create a whole new, simplified but lucrative structure for your business.

Meaning you get up every morning knowing what you need to be focused on doing that day.

You have clarity around the people you need to be meeting and the content you need to be providing for blog posts, articles, social media, lead generation magnets and more.

And you’ll have the renewed interest and motivation to research your new speciality that drives successful business owners forward, becoming true experts in their chosen field and creating unbelievable results for those lucky enough to work with them. 🙂

Join my Ignite Mastermind & Coaching Programme to create your very own Branded Signature System with me, become known as an expert in your field and start to charge what you’re really worth at https://emmahague.leadpages.co/mastermind

How Can I Attract My Ideal Clients (And Stop Attracting Time Vampires?)

Have you ever got talking to someone new and felt, after only a couple of meetings, like you’ve known them for years?

Like they’re just somehow ‘on your wave-length’? (There’s a scientific reason for that – they really are! We naturally attract the people to us who are on the same vibrational level. But that’s an article for another day!)

Have you ever noticed how you naturally resonate with the characters from certain books, films or songs? As though their story is one you’ve somehow lived yourself?

The same is true for your brand. Branding isn’t just about having a fancy logo to spark recognition.

It’s the emotional appeal you create to others – whether that’s with a logo, the way you speak or your physical presence.

Whether you like it or not, as an entrepreneur, you DO have a brand – even if you don’t know what it is!

As men and women who ARE our business, we naturally put across certain traits, values and language when we speak to our clients (and potential clients) – even if we don’t mean to!

And so it’s essential that you understand what you want your brand to be, what it stands for and how to get that across properly to people.

Ever feel like you’re not attracting your ideal clients? Ever wondered why?!

Maybe people are getting the wrong idea about you.

Some entrepreneurs try to avoid this problem altogether by being totally devoid of any personalisation – you see this a lot in online marketing where the aim is hands-off, recurring revenue generation.

Have a look at some of your competitors’ websites – I’ll bet you’ll find many are created from some kind of template and they can have a fairly impersonal, corporate feel to them.

Everything looks the same – same services listed, same stock photos, same red headlines, same red arrows, same font…it can be very difficult to work out the kind of people you’re dealing with and thus, many people who try to market purely online find it difficult to get the results they really want.

They lack that ‘know, like and trust’ factor that smaller business owners need to encourage people to engage with them.

Doing good work and being honest and reliable (which seen to be the go-to phrases for most business owners) are worthy characteristics. But let’s be realistic, it’s charisma and personality that make a person – and their business – succeed.

However, get it wrong and this can also be totally counter-productive. Because potential clients can get entirely the wrong idea about the kind of person you are from the marketing you do.

One of the reasons video is proving so successful when marketing on social media is that your potential clients can see you. They can hear how you speak, the kinds of words you use, your tone of voice.

You might find it really uncomfortable getting used to the idea of speaking to a virtual audience but think about it – if your personality, your approach and your voice are already out there, you know that people who still approach you really like YOU. And want to work with YOU.

Which is why when I work with clients on creating their authentic signature brand, I include the amazing power of archetypes.

It prevents potential clients being drawn in to marketing you might be producing that isn’t really ‘you’, and then finding out they’re dealing with someone completely different and backing off.

(Usually after you’ve spent a good amount of time ‘nurturing’ them while they decide whether they want to work with you or not (I call these ‘Time Vampires’ because they will suck out your time as well as your energy 🙂 )

So what is an archetype?

Archetypes are well-established character types that exist in each one of us and have long permeated the essence of who we are.

Archetypes define our personality and our values and when you reflect your own archetype in your personal branding, your ideal clients are drawn to you.

Your audience can connect with who you are rather than just what you do (which may be the same as thousands of other business owners).

There are dozens of different archetypes and they’re often used in therapy and healing. I focus on just 12 in branding a business like yours.

What’s important to know is that each archetype: Alchemist, Maverick, Humanitarian, Artist, Nurturer, Jester, Romantic, Innocent, Hero, Ruler, Explorer and Teacher has it’s own meaning, personality, values, strengths, likes and dislikes and sense of mission.

What this means for you is that when you brand your business with the stunningly accurate power of archetypes, you immediately make your marketing easier and incredibly exciting because you’ll (finally!) clearly communicate who you are and what you’re all about to your audience.

Branding With Archetypes dives deep into the heart and soul of who you are. We see this shining through in highly successful people who’ve turned who they are into a brand they love.

Here are 3 examples to show you exactly what I mean:

Example: Angelina Jolie, Actress

Can you guess which archetype Angelina is? Well, in her early twenties Angelina was known for being a Rebel and she is still a voice for challenging authority (through the Jolie-Pitt Foundation she fights against global issues of injustice such as immigration, sexual violence and rape).

However, she channels most of her energy now through her true archetype of Humanitarian and is passionate about helping those less fortunate than herself. She is a special envoy for the United Nations and is noted for her extensive work in poorer countries of the world.

Example: Oprah Winfrey

What is Oprah’s speciality? Transformation! Oprah takes the raw material of life and turns it into something amazing through her charitable work and makeovers.

Her archetype is the Alchemist – the archetype of change and transformation.

Her message is clear and consistent: with enough determination ANYONE can live their best life.

Example: Me! Emma Hague

As a Ruler archetype (with some influence of the Hero) I’m passionate about taking control of my own future and creating a prosperous and successful family and community.

I’m a northern girl and tend to say it like it is!

I strongly believe that we are in control of (and responsible for) how our lives turn out and I’m passionate about helping others achieve the results they desire.

It’s important that I don’t attract clients looking for too much of a softly, softly, touchy, feely approach becasue that’s just not ‘me’ – I’m interested in helping people get the results they want quickly, not letting them off every week because their hamster’s died or the kids were off school or they’ve had a cold.

So it’s important I try to get that across in the words I use and the content I put out.

And I have the same wish for you and your business.

Which is why in my trainings we focus on how your brand is your personal archetype expressed through your business.

It’s personality that separates the ordinary from the extraordinary. Archetypes give you a highly creative yet easily structured way to create a brand rich with emotion and personality – one that’s authentic and unique to YOU.

To find out how to learn use your Signature and Influencing Archetypes to build your own authentic brand AND get your hands on my gorgeous Branding With Archetypes® Cards, check out my Ignite Mastermind & Coaching Programme at https://emmahague.leadpages.co/mastermind

woman thinking

How Do I Find Clients Who Will Pay For My Services?

One of the biggest mistakes I find small business owners making is fishing for clients in a pool of people who will just never pay for the services they’re offering.

We all want to help people, and it’s an unfortunate fact of life that many (MANY) of the people you could really help – you WANT to really help – will just never pay for that help.

And, actually, many of the people who need you MOST may fall into that group.

Sometimes they just don’t have any money and they have absolutely no means of accessing any money.

Sometimes they DO have money, they just don’t want to pay you.

It’s important that, as someone looking to build a successful business, you get to grips with this fact and face it head on.

Because there will always be more than enough people who DO have the money and DO want to pay you for your help.

The trick is focusing on getting in front of them.

Now, that’s not to say you shouldn’t help people who have no money, and we’ll come back to that later on.

But for now, let’s talk about finding those clients who can, and will, pay you handsomely for what you do. Enabling you to go ahead and create amazing packages that will bring them amazing results, and that will empower to charge what you’re really worth.

What we’re talking about here is finding your niche. Finding the people who love you, love what you do and how you do it and will happily pay you handsomely to help solve their problem.

In my Ignite Mastermind & Coaching Programme, we use a 6-Step formula called ‘Niche Breakthrough Secrets’ for this, and in this article I’m going to walk you through Step 4 in that process – working out whether your current niche is ‘Hot Or Not’.

In other words, are you going to have the success you really want fishing in the pool you’re currently fishing in or do you need to make some tweaks?

Let’s take a look:

  • Is your niche big enough to be viable?

Now let’s just take a step back for a minute and look at this realistically. Think about how many clients you actually NEED. (I would recommend you do that calculation if you haven’t already). If you’re offering packages that range in investment from, say, £99 to £ 5,000, I’d recommend you need to be looking at a pool of at least 10,000 people.

So do some basic research – are there likely to be 10,000 or more of your ideal client in the area you’re looking to serve?

Remember, we’re not saying you need to convert 10,000 into clients – just that there needs to be at least that many people out there for you to pull from.

If there are less than 10,000 you need to look at either broadening the scope of your main package, or widening the geographical area you’re going to cover.A

  • Are your ideas/services flowing upstream or downstream within your niche?

Flowing upstream within the culture that is already present within your niche means you are attempting to get them to change their mindset and beliefs about your topic.

Flowing downstream means your ideas are ones your niche is likely to accept. Any time you are flowing upstream within your niche’s culture you’ll find marketing and making sales difficult, time consuming and costly.

There are plenty of people who will already be ‘sold’ on the methods/approach you use. Focus on showing these people how you specifically can solve their problems and help them achieve the results they want, rather than trying to convince non-believers that your way is best.

  • Out of 10, how important will the people within your niche rank solving the problem you’re offering to solve?

Let’s be honest, there are a myriad of problems that we all live with on a day-to-day basis that we could just carry on living with forever, without ever getting to a point where we believe we need to fix it NOW.

So, out of 10, how important is it that your ideal clients get a solution to the problem they’re facing?

A 10 is a “must solve now” and 1 is “I can live with it for a long time, as is.” This ranking must be a EIGHT or higher to make your niche viable for you.

If it’s lower than 8 you need to either change your niche or change what you’re offering.

I’ve made the mistake numerous times over the years of nurturing (essentially giving free advice to) potential clients – sometimes over many weeks – who are ‘interested’ in what I’ve had to offer, but not at all ‘committed’ to taking action to solving their problem.

This can lead to a tremendous amount of wasted time and effort and huge disappointment when they eventually decide they’ve got better things to spend their money on.

Addressing this at the outset by purposely hunting out those people you know need to solve their problem urgently can eradicate this altogether.

  • Do the people within your niche have a history of investing in things of a similar nature to what you offer?

Remember that people will put up with a lot before they decide to invest in solving a problem – in fact, in these days of YouTube, Google and social media, they’ll likely try every avenue they can to solve the problem by themselves first.

So it’s best to focus your business on solving a problem your clients already prioritise as important.

The best measure for this is finding people who’ve already paid for something similar in the past.

Luckily, using those same online tools as well as other methods, it’s easy to do that nowadays.

  • Do you love them?

You will be spending a lot of time with the people in your niche – working out different ways to help them, designing amazing packages for them that create great results…

This means you need to love these people and what you are doing with them.

If you don’t, the motivation to do everything in your power to help them just will not be there and that leads to a poor attitude, poor client results, payment problems and complaints further down the line.

So let’s go back briefly to helping those people you really want to help who have no money.

The best advice I can give is to separate your business from your charity.

Yes, if you want to give your time and energy away for free, that’s your decision. But that’s not running a business.

If you want to have a separate charitable project, of course that’s fine.

Personally, I would suggest that you wait a few months until you actually have some cash in the bank, are able to pay your bills and have your cash warrior lines and savings well and truly under way, if you haven’t already (see my Money Breakthrough Method® training!).

Because if you haven’t got that sussed, giving away your time for free will just be counter-productive – you need to spend all the time you can finding paying clients while you’re getting your own money sorted, THEN you’ll have the luxury of being able to help others.

If you’re looking for a proven method to turn your business results around, offering step-by-step guidance and support, so you can finally Charge What You’re Worth And Get It and build a life you are 100% in love with, check out my Ignite Mastermind & Coaching Programme at https://emmahague.leadpages.co/mastermind

The 4 Best Ways To Get What You Really Want In Life (And The 3 Worst)

In the past 12 months I can honestly say I’ve achieved more than I did in the previous 12 years put together.

After the birth of my first daughter, Mollie, in 2006 I started my own business. I was going to rule the world.

Working when and where I wanted, around my family, I envisioned making amazing money and lunching with other, successful Supermums. I would build an empire that ran itself while I visited playbarns and Wacky Warehouses (OK, in hindsight, not exactly idyllic).

Except that’s not how it happens at all, is it?

10 years on I was frustrated as hell. I’d left a successful career to embark on that exciting adventure, only to find that this self-employment lark was actually really hard work.

At least, it was if we were actually going to be able to pay the bills.

I had zero time to myself, was stretching myself thinly around those that matter most to me, struggling to get clients (and taking anyone who’d have me, frankly), being paid a pittance and still fielding sly remarks about my fees.

I felt resentful when I had to take time off to look after my girls (the very reason I was doing this) then guilty when I was working and not spending time with them and my husband, Karl.

I was constantly stressed, in huge amounts of debt, never had enough savings to pay my own tax bill at the end of the year, no matter how much I earned (where the hell does it all go?)…and I’m an accountant!

I genuinely BELIEVED something was going to happen to make things work out for us…eventually.

But Karl had even given me the nickname ‘Del Boy’, after a character from an old UK TV programme whose catchphrase was “This time next year Rodney, we’ll be millionaires…”

Because every year I’d say ” This is it, this is going to be my year. I can feel it in my bones.” But it never was.

But because I’d had so much experience in my own business – and helping others build theirs from scratch – I was being asked by my clients to help them grow their businesses.

And you know what? It turned out I was pretty good at helping them.

I’d done so much marketing training, been on so many business-building courses, read so many books over the years that I had far more knowledge on the subject than any of them ever would.

They listened intently to me, totally respected my advice (for a reason I never understood) – and they were really taking off!

I could help THEM – I just couldn’t get a grip on my own life or business!But in the past 12 months everything has changed.

I have already doubled my income on the previous year, I have multiple streams of income (I sometimes forget where they’re coming from)…

Using the programme I now deliver I have trained myself to eliminate stress and worry at the flick of a mind-switch and to build a winning self-image that means I live with faith and self-confidence (instead of doubt and fear).

I’m not telling you this to impress you – I just want to impress on you that if I can do it anyone can. Frankly, I’m amazed that I’m still working for myself and have finally – FINALLY – sussed out how to make it really work.

And I don’t think it had one jot to do with the tens of thousands of pounds I had spent on marketing training…

How To Create Facebook Ads, Google Ads, How To Speak From The Stage, Direct Marketing, Online Product Launches, Offline Product Launches, How To Create And Fill Online Courses…the list goes on.

What I actually needed to change was deep inside me – not the things I knew or didn’t know. The skills I had or didn’t have.

I only found this out when I found Bob Proctor – he’s one of the world’s leading experts on human potential and growth, and he’s now my own business mentor.

I joined his Thinking Into Results programme and then decided I wanted to work with him to mentor others to achieve the results they want in life. So that’s what I do.

I am a consultant with the Proctor Gallagher Institute and it has changed my life.

Don’t make the same mistakes I did for over 10 years. Here are the 4 best ways to actually get what you really want in life (and the 3 worst!):

Know What You Want

You’ll only ever achieve what you really want in life if you know what that is. And most people really don’t.

I don’t mean what you ‘think you can probably do, be or have’, I mean what you actually want. What do you really wish your life could look like?

Allow yourself to dream a little and write down how you’d be living, in detail, if there were no limits and no restrictions.

You’ve got to be serious about this – you need a goal that really stirs you deep down. A goal that, when you imagine having achieved it, gives you butterflies.

As Napoleon Hill says, you must have “a definite purpose backed by burning desire for its fulfilment”

A Plan That You Put Into Action

It doesn’t have to be perfect and you don’t need to know that it will work.

This is important.

You will waste so much time, energy and money on trying to determine whether something is worthwhile or not before you even start.

Don’t get bogged down in endless spreadsheets and ‘what if’ scenarios – if you have an idea, a basic plan, go for it.

Just start with something. You can tweak it as you go and when you see what works and what doesn’t work.

Maxwell Maltz said “A step in the wrong direction is better than staying on the spot all our life.

Once you’re moving forward you can correct your course as you go. Your automatic guidance system cannot guide you when you’re standing still.”

Selective Hearing

You MUST become immune to outside forces of negativity.

Well-meaning friends and family WILL kill your dream with negative thoughts, feelings and suggestions if you let them.

You must develop the faith in your own ability and the self-confidence to completely ignore what they say.

Of course, this is far, far easier if you have a step-by-step system to follow and a community of like-minded, uplifting, encouraging individuals who are all working towards their own big goals – which is what Thinking Into Results provides.

Other people have absolutely no idea what you’re capable of (and neither do you, incidentally) so smile politely and make the decision to ‘file’ what the ‘nay-sayers’ (or Muggles as I like to call them!) are saying.

You don’t need their opinions or suggestions so don’t ask for them. this is about your life, what you want and your potential.

Don’t even tell them what your plans are – there’s absolutely no need unless they have to be involved, logistically. Show them through your results instead.

Mix With like-Minded People

Ask any successful person what helped them succeed, and they’ll impress on you the importance of having a person, or persons, who believed in them.

It could be a friend, family member, neighbour, employer…nowadays it’s more likely to be a coach, mentor or mastermind group.

Having someone who is positive, encouraging and who is working towards their own big goal

Being able to talk to them, discuss ideas and let off steam with them, without fear of judgement or being told to “just go get a job” when things get tough, is huge.

If you don’t have friends or family who fall into this category, it is imperitive that you either form your own supportive network or join one.

And I don’t mean a networking group where everyone just wants to sell to you. I mean a group that will teach, nurture and support you through thick and thin.

For years to come.

The 3 Worst Ways To (Try To) Get What You Want In Life

Trying To Change Other People

Not gonna happen.

If you believe that your life would be better if you could just change ‘this’ about someone else, there’s a good chance the problem actually lies within you.

This is usually a serious case of negative self-image cropping up.

Think about what it is you want to change about the other person and then take a really good look at yourself.

Is it something about them that needs to change or is it something about you?

Our outside world is a reflection of what’s going on inside us – are you taking actions or saying things that cause others to react towards you in a negative way?

Is it a lack of your own self-confidence and faith that is keeping you in a situation you shouldn’t be in?

Is it something inside you that needs to change? Probably.

Carry out a detailed self-inventory of all the things you really like about yourself, and the things you’d change if you could.

Start to really take notice of when these things crop up and take action towards changing them.

Self-image (and improving it) plays a huge part in how you become the person you really want to become and how you change your results for the better – permanently.

Banking On Winning the Lottery


What are the odds of winning the lottery? Well, it depends which lottery but in the UK you’re talking roughly 1 in 8 million.

1 in 8 million.

And what are the odds of being able to earn the money you really want with other sources of income?

A hell of a lot better, I can tell you.

Especially as most people tell me they ‘don’t want millions – just a few hundred thousand would do me’.

And if they genuinely focused instead (I mean gave it everything they’ve got) , just for maybe 12 to 36 months on that goal themselves, you know there aren’t many peple in this world who really wouldn’t be able to achieve that.

But instead so many people spend money on a game of chance, wishing they could win instead of using the faculties we’ve ALL been given to actually make it happen for themselves.

Because a) they want a quick fix or b) they just don’t see how it would be possible to achive any other way.

That doesn’t mean it’s NOT possible – just that they’re not consciously aware of how to do it.

It’s a crying shame and it’s one that we’ve been conditioned towards.

Decide how much money you’d really, genuinely, need to live the lifestyle you really want to live.

You’ll be surprised how much less you need than you think.

Why not start to think of different ways you could make the money to achieve that goal in the next 3 years.

Multiple Sources of Income (what we call you MSIs) are crucial if you want to earn a serious amount of money in a relatively short period of time.

You’re no different to the people on this planet who have already done this – I don’t care who you are or where you’ve come from.

Create your own purpose and see what happens.

Hoping ‘Something’ Good Will Just Happen

Everything changes all the time. We live in an ocean of motion of energy and, according to the Law of Creation, if you’re not creating you must be disintegrating.

If you’re not growing you’re dying. So which are you doing? And are you happy about that?

“Most people tiptoe through life hoping to make it safely to death.” – Bob’s own mentor, Earl Nightingale said that and it is so true.

So many people live day-to-day hoping to get safely through till night time with nothing too stressful happening…then wake the next day to so the same again.

What exactly do you think is going to change?

The Law of Cause and Effect means you need to DO something to cause a change in your own life. Nothing ‘just happens’.

So what are you going to do?

The world is full of people who ‘let’ things happen to them and then complain about it.

They blame their parents, the government, their employer, their children…

This is your life. Yours. No-one is going to make it better for you, you have to do it yourself.

So start today. Commit to taking control of your future and making it the best it can be.

Our physical time on this planet is short. Make sure you’ve given everything when you leave.

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